Bad Fic Conversation:

[ickaimp]

Icka!: So I was reading a Transformers fic last night where Jazz fallowed Prowl, then accidental kicked a shinny soda can, alerting the clam ninja.
Linda: *deadpan* Because you know, Clam Ninja are so Shellfish.
Icka!: *Snickers* I had to stop after Prowl took off and Jazz ran into a ally wall.
Linda: Did you see the fandom secrets one about her 'tender menstruations'?
Princess: I read that one! It was a Cloud/Sephiroth!
Icka!: The one that still kills me is the Saiyuki one where Goyjo tenderly stretches and lubes up Hakkai's urethra before fucking him in it.
*All five women in the room cringe and groan*
Princess: I don't even have one and that makes my Invisible Penis hurt.
*long silence*
Megs: I'm so glad I wasn't paying attention to this conversation.

And now we're reading outloud various pairings and prompts for Porn Battle round Five. They're pretty awesome. Some... in a squick-worthy sorta way.

-Later-

Linda: No! You're reading us bad Teletubbies porn outloud! BAD Porn! Go to your room!
*Princess Leaves*
Icka!: So if it was Good porn, she could stay?
Linda: Why do you think I sent her to her room?

Linda: So are you still sending her Teletubbies porn?
Icka!: Naw. Actually, we switched over to Smurfs.
*Icka! covers ears as Screams of Terror rage in Stereo*
Princess: *shouts from her bedroom* That's just wrong! They're Blue! Smurfs shouldn't have pink penises!
Icka!: *shouts back* Toldja! It goes completely against their natural colouring!
*Megs and Linda shudder*

*Princess walks into the room*
Princess: *disturbed* ... I just realised. We're trading SMURF porn...
Linda: It took you this long?

"I'm not sure how well this plan was thought through..."

Comments

[bigdee.livejournal.com]

"the Saiyuki one where Goyjo tenderly stretches and lubes up Hakkai's urethra before fucking him in it."

Reading that was somewhat agonising.

Just sometimes, bad fanfic can be so bad it's good (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHxyZaZlaOs). Usually, however, it's just bad.

[morgan-idril.livejournal.com]

It was/is a disturbing conversation and i missed the Smurf porn (pumps the air with fist).Funny tho, consider all those little men with only one female smurf. So is she like the queen ant growing gigantic with eggs? *shudders*

[sapphirus.livejournal.com]

Should they even have reproductive organs when the Smurfette was made out of clay?

[lferion]

*Rolls around on the floor, howling with laughter*

[gracie-musica.livejournal.com]

The Saiyuki one *still* makes me cringe and cross my legs whenever I think about it. That's scaring, that is.

[dragon-badfaith.livejournal.com]

I hate you sometimes Icka... I really do. Why did you have to remind me of the urethra... why why smurf porn?

[niennahirilfea.livejournal.com]

*amused* Bad!fic is Bad! You really have to wonder how they missed that mistake though, I'm with Princess on this...ouch *reflexive leg-cross*

(hehe, love that scene from Meet the Robinsons. Always makes me giggle.)

[scribe-ari.livejournal.com]

Bwahahahaha!
I am so glad I was able to introduce you to that film.

But if you slash Toot and Puddles never tell me. I gotta read those books to the kids.

[ickaimp.livejournal.com]

Thanks for introducing us to it! It's great fun!

Nah, I wouldn't actually slash Puddles and Toot, but it was funny to giggle over. XD

[(Anonymous)]

Shouldn't it be purple? Unless smurfs have blue blood? Okay, not going there.