Bad Fic Conversation:

[ickaimp]

Icka!: So I was reading a Transformers fic last night where Jazz fallowed Prowl, then accidental kicked a shinny soda can, alerting the clam ninja.
Linda: *deadpan* Because you know, Clam Ninja are so Shellfish.
Icka!: *Snickers* I had to stop after Prowl took off and Jazz ran into a ally wall.
Linda: Did you see the fandom secrets one about her 'tender menstruations'?
Princess: I read that one! It was a Cloud/Sephiroth!
Icka!: The one that still kills me is the Saiyuki one where Goyjo tenderly stretches and lubes up Hakkai's urethra before fucking him in it.
*All five women in the room cringe and groan*
Princess: I don't even have one and that makes my Invisible Penis hurt.
*long silence*
Megs: I'm so glad I wasn't paying attention to this conversation.

And now we're reading outloud various pairings and prompts for Porn Battle round Five. They're pretty awesome. Some... in a squick-worthy sorta way.

-Later-

Linda: No! You're reading us bad Teletubbies porn outloud! BAD Porn! Go to your room!
*Princess Leaves*
Icka!: So if it was Good porn, she could stay?
Linda: Why do you think I sent her to her room?

Linda: So are you still sending her Teletubbies porn?
Icka!: Naw. Actually, we switched over to Smurfs.
*Icka! covers ears as Screams of Terror rage in Stereo*
Princess: *shouts from her bedroom* That's just wrong! They're Blue! Smurfs shouldn't have pink penises!
Icka!: *shouts back* Toldja! It goes completely against their natural colouring!
*Megs and Linda shudder*

*Princess walks into the room*
Princess: *disturbed* ... I just realised. We're trading SMURF porn...
Linda: It took you this long?

"I'm not sure how well this plan was thought through..."