Today's Random Conversations:

[ickaimp]

Sarah *sings*: What would you do for a Klondike Bar?
Icka!: ....
Icka!: .... A squid?
*Icka! busts a gut laughing as both Sarah and Ysabet gawk and make stunned/disgusted faces*
Icka!: I'm kidding! I'm kidding! They're predators! Hooks and beaks and stuff. Ew. Ow.
Sarah: Oh, good.

After Changing a Diaper:
"The Butt iz Pastede on, yay!"

Linda: If you heard that a man was caught having sex with a monkey would you ask or care what gender the monkey was?
Icka!: I'd ask him where he got it.

and on that note, do not ask me how one has sex with a chicken, because I have leet net-fu and can and will show Linda you. so there.


impfics: One Piece - The Seduction of Roronoa Zoro (luffy/zoro)

Comments

[ytak.livejournal.com]

Interestingly enough, a man was forced to wed a goat after he was caught having sex with it. I want to say it was in Africa but it might have been Eastern Europe.

[ickaimp.livejournal.com]

There was a seminar on "Psychic Phenomena" going on, when the speaker decided to involve the audience. He first asked, "Everyone who has ever seen a ghost, please stand up." Well, nearly the entire audience stood up.

He then asked, "Everyone who has ever had a close encounter with a ghost, please remain standing." About 2 dozen people were still standing.

He then asked how many people had been in the same room as a ghost and 6 people stood up.

Finally he asked, "Anyone who has ever had SEX with a ghost, please remain standing." Everyone sat down except this one man.

When the speaker demanded if he had REALLY had sex with a ghost, the guy replied, "Oh, I am very sorry, I thought you said GOAT."

how does one have sex with a chicken

[misskat.livejournal.com]

i am trying to find the "chicken f**ker" scene from JTHM when the aliens make the guy from earth have sex with a chicken

Re: how does one have sex with a chicken

[ickaimp.livejournal.com]

A different man walks into a different brothel, but he asks the madam the same question: "What can I get for $5?"

"Go up to the second floor, make a right, second to last door on the left."

The man enters the room, which is pretty sparse: Only a mirror and a small bed, with a chicken resting on the pillow. The man is a little repulsed, but he's horny and he's already paid his five bucks, so why not? He fucks the chicken.

A week later, he shows up at the same brothel, and asks the madam what he can get for $10.

"Go up to the second floor, make a right, last door on the left."

In this room, he finds a group of men masturbating while they watch a woman fuck a dog in the next room through a one-way mirror. "This is pretty freaky", he remarks.

"Oh, this is nothing," says one of the other men. "Last week they had a guy fucking a chicken."

[lil-1337.livejournal.com]

Linda could have lived a long and spiritually fulfilled life /without/ that information. *gets brain bleach*

[ickaimp.livejournal.com]

Seeing her young chick run out into a busy road, the mother hen said, "If your father saw you do that he's turn over in his gravy."

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

A guy once was arrested after being caught having sex with a dead deer. They couldn't actually charge him with anything related directly to it, though, because bestiality only applies to LIVE animals, and necrophilia only applies to dead HUMANS.

But really, how desperate does a person have to be to be walking along, see a dead deer lying by the side of the road, and think, "God, I want to have sex with that!" *boinking proceeds*

...and the mention of the chicken makes me think of the necrophiliac chicken conversation. My friends are sick people ~♥