I know exactly how you feel, though I've lived in China so long that I feel awkward in both places. You feel ashamed of your fellow Americans sometimes, and other times you wonder if you should cheer for them (like the world cup or the olympics) because by and by it's still home, even if you dont live there.
yet everywhere u go everyone says "oh this is my friend/cousin/colleague, and guess what! she's american!" like its something so unusual like, i dunno, horns on your head. but you like taking advantage of that (officer hails you for parking in teh wrong place.. spit out a string of english and then they wave you off...). but you also take advantage of being an international (like I'm chinese so i let them think i'm native sometimes... though its hold cuz i'm obviously Manchurian rather than Han)
and then the worst is when they realize not only are you american, but u're fluent in their language. Then its "Why did you attack Iraq? Why are you holding Saddam Hussein? Why did you elect George Bush (who's name is synonomous with 'idiot')?" when it's not me, it's the american government.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2006-07-17 11:49 am (UTC)yet everywhere u go everyone says "oh this is my friend/cousin/colleague, and guess what! she's american!" like its something so unusual like, i dunno, horns on your head. but you like taking advantage of that (officer hails you for parking in teh wrong place.. spit out a string of english and then they wave you off...). but you also take advantage of being an international (like I'm chinese so i let them think i'm native sometimes... though its hold cuz i'm obviously Manchurian rather than Han)
and then the worst is when they realize not only are you american, but u're fluent in their language. Then its "Why did you attack Iraq? Why are you holding Saddam Hussein? Why did you elect George Bush (who's name is synonomous with 'idiot')?" when it's not me, it's the american government.
...i dont know where i'm going with this. sorry.