[fic] TGZ: Bad DAy
Aug. 8th, 2005 03:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ickaimpWhen the travel challenge was announced on ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
manycases1truth, commented that mine was already done, and pointed to the TGZ AU. ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
gracie_musica said it didn’t count unless we did another chapter. So… not only have they traveled from Japan to Britain, they’re now traveling in Britain! *laughs*
Many thanks tomel_redcap for helping figure out the dimentions of the.. um... balls.
Kaito -should- have known that it was going to be a bad day when Hakuba fell out of bed.
More specifically, he should have known it was going to be a bad day when he fell out of bed on top of Hakuba when attempting to make sure the blond hadn't injured anything vital on the way down.
Actually, the landing hadn't been -quite- so bad....
But it meant that Hakuba was suffering yet another klutzy day due to another growth spurt, which meant the blond was usually surly the rest of the day because his limbs refused to obey. This was usually accompanied by Kaito learning several new and interesting English words when Hakuba either knocked stuff over or ran into things.
Then Mum decided to have kippers for breakfast. He'd had to end up eating over cooked lumpy oatmeal because of an incident with the microwave involving the neighbour's cat, some fried tomatoes and a pot holder. Just because he couldn't risk eating anything that might have come in contact with the pan she'd used to cook the kippers. He wasn't quite ready to test the whole 'In -sickness- and in health' thing with the detective or spending the next day or so getting to really know British plumbing.
The best way to deal with a surly, grumpy, clumsy Hakuba was to stay out of his way, so after breakfast Kaito decided that today was probably a good day to curl up with a good book in 'his' room and ignore the world.
Which would have been a marvelous plan except for a phone call just before Lunch. A phone call to Hakuba Saguru, noted expert on all things Kid the Phantom Thief. Because someone had reported receiving a heist warning notice.
Kaito may have been having some problems keeping the Kid part of his brain from sneaking out while he was Kaito and giving himself away to the world, but he was very aware of when he sent out a heist warning. Which he had not. He signified this with a wide-eyed expression of innocence and a clueless shrug.
Hakuba informed the person on the other end of the phone that -they'd- be there as soon as they could. The bastard then ignored all of his pleas and shoved him into a black taxi that he called, because it would be faster than catching the train up.
It wasn't until Kaito pointed out that Hakuba's namesake, a White Horse, was carved into the hillside that Hakuba realised hey were heading the wrong direction. They needed to go -North- and they were heading South and West. Very South.
The detective had tried to get the driver's attention to inform him of this when the driver suddenly keeled over in the seat, the car coming to a gradual stop. They didn't have to scramble out of the car and check the waxy-looking man's pulse to figure out the obvious.
The driver was dead.
And if the look on Hakuba's face was any indication, he'd been dead for at least a little while.
He'd pulled out his mobile phone to call in the authorities when it had started to rain. Which wasn't entirely unexpected, it rained almost every afternoon here. But this was early afternoon, and a deluge, forcing them to seek shelter inside the car. And the mobile didn't work, they were out of range of the net work.
Which meant that they had to sit there. In the car. With nothing to do. Well, he had offered to play cards, but a blue-eyed glare had cut that short.
Kaito -really- hated those blue contacts.
The noise level was -just- enough to keep him from being able to take a nap, and playing 'I Spy' was definitely out, so he'd spent an uncomfortable length of time waiting for the rain to stop so they could call someone to take care of the dead guy in the front.
Yeah. Dead Guy. That put a lovely chill in the place.
And he was hungry. They hadn't eaten anything since breakfast.
Finally the rain ended and they trudged up to the top of the hill to try to call from there. Only to find that the battery on Kaito's mobile battery was now dead, and now the car was missing.
No taxi. No tire treads, no dry spot to signify where it had been parked.
No explanation.
To say that Hakuba was less than pleased was an understatement. Kaito philosophically thought it was about par for the course today and wished he'd had the sense to climb back into bed this morning and pull the covers over his head. Maybe with Hakuba. The blond made a nice space heater. When he wasn't being a jerk. Just because Kaito liked the guy didn't mean that he didn't want to throttle him within an inch of his life sometimes.
Fortunately, Hakuba's phone could get signal up on top of the hill. Just in time for the people who had contacted Hakuba to begin with to brightly announce that they'd figured out it was a hoax and they'd taken care of the moron.
It would have been debatable who would have killed the man first if he'd been within arm's reach.
Hakuba called Mum and informed her that they were delayed and not to save dinner for them. Kaito's stomach disagreed with this theory.
Phone calls made, they'd done the only logical thing they could do, being stranded in the middle of no where an not knowing where they were. They'd started to walk, keeping a vague eye on the road as they did so, intending to cut along the green fields as soon as they spotted some sort of civilization from their viewpoint on the hill top.
Up hills. Down hills. Around ponds. Over streams. Past sheep. Past sheep droppings. Or in Hakuba's accidental case, through sheep droppings.
Then the road disappeared.
Most of the time, Hakuba had a pretty fair sense of direction. So did Kaito, but his sense of direction was usually better off in mid air with the wind in his face to guide him. So while on the ground and in Hakuba's other home country, he usually let Hakuba lead. But every so often, Hakuba's directional sense just seemed to go on the fritz.
It appeared to be one of those 'every so often'. Since Kaito couldn't point them in the 'right direction', he went along with it. At least it was still Autumn, the air crisp but not too incredibly chilled to be uncomfortable.
Then darkness fell. It was the new moon, which meant there was no additional moonlight to help them see. Kaito's night vision was better than Hakuba's, but even he was having trouble seeing with the cloud cover blocking the starlight as well.
Finally, after stumbling for an untold amount of time --although Hakuba probably would have been able to tell-- down a pothole filled hill towards some lights in the unknown distance, they decided to stop for a bit. Both of them were tired, hungry and cranky and decided that it probably would be a good idea to lie down and get some rest before they killed each other.
So they'd curled up, using Kaito's shorter coat under them to keep at least some of the grass stains to a minimum and Hakuba's as a blanket by virtue that it would actually cover their legs.
Kaito woke up at false dawn, the start of a fresh day, the sky just beginning to lighten enough for everything to be visible. He'd nudged his sleeping partner and second blanket --the detective had a tendency to cuddle in his sleep-- in an attempt to wake him up and finally gave up, squirming out of the detective's grasp and getting up, taking the coat with him.
Upon looking around, he realised that they had spent the night on one of those chalk hill carvings that he'd spotted earlier. Which explained the pot holes they'd been tripped on, the long white trenches that formed the lines of the carving. Only this figure wasn't horse shaped. This one was man shaped.
Very man shaped.
They'd spent the night on a hill carving giant's left nut, the rest of the large phallus pointing up towards the top of the hill.
Hakuba finally woke up when he kicked the detective in the shin and tiredly explained that they were Dorset, on the Cernes Abbas Giant. Because there were only two human shaped hill carvings in Britain and only one had a dick. This was both bad and good news, bad because there was a fence around the giant to keep people from spending the night on it -- a fertility ritual for childless couples-- and good because there was town within walking distance.
Kaito decided he needed to do some reading as far as the folk lore of this island. It wasn't as if he could find a Shinto shrine to make offerings to if the native spirits here got pissed off at you.
So they'd put on their coats, climbed over the barb wire fence before anyone spotted them --they didn't need help in the childless area, thank you--, past the spring that was dedicated to someone called St. Augustine at the base of the hill and began to trudge down the road towards the town.
Along the way down the road, half heartedly attempting to straighten his clothing and comb the grass out of his hair, Kaito came to one very firm decision.
He was going to staple Sir Stinky to Hakuba's backside if they ever left the plushie behind on a trip again.
-fin-
The chalk hill carvings do exist, by the way. The other humanoid chalk hill carving is ‘The Long Man of Wilmington’, who is distinctive because of the two long poles he carries, one on either side of his body.
The joke about Sir Stinky is from 'Shades of Grey', Hakuba's commented that trips have gone horribly wrong whenever he's traveled without the plushie.
Dunno where the phantom taxi came in tho…
manycases1truth, commented that mine was already done, and pointed to the TGZ AU. gracie_musica said it didn’t count unless we did another chapter. So… not only have they traveled from Japan to Britain, they’re now traveling in Britain! *laughs*Many thanks to
mel_redcap for helping figure out the dimentions of the.. um... balls.Kaito -should- have known that it was going to be a bad day when Hakuba fell out of bed.
More specifically, he should have known it was going to be a bad day when he fell out of bed on top of Hakuba when attempting to make sure the blond hadn't injured anything vital on the way down.
Actually, the landing hadn't been -quite- so bad....
But it meant that Hakuba was suffering yet another klutzy day due to another growth spurt, which meant the blond was usually surly the rest of the day because his limbs refused to obey. This was usually accompanied by Kaito learning several new and interesting English words when Hakuba either knocked stuff over or ran into things.
Then Mum decided to have kippers for breakfast. He'd had to end up eating over cooked lumpy oatmeal because of an incident with the microwave involving the neighbour's cat, some fried tomatoes and a pot holder. Just because he couldn't risk eating anything that might have come in contact with the pan she'd used to cook the kippers. He wasn't quite ready to test the whole 'In -sickness- and in health' thing with the detective or spending the next day or so getting to really know British plumbing.
The best way to deal with a surly, grumpy, clumsy Hakuba was to stay out of his way, so after breakfast Kaito decided that today was probably a good day to curl up with a good book in 'his' room and ignore the world.
Which would have been a marvelous plan except for a phone call just before Lunch. A phone call to Hakuba Saguru, noted expert on all things Kid the Phantom Thief. Because someone had reported receiving a heist warning notice.
Kaito may have been having some problems keeping the Kid part of his brain from sneaking out while he was Kaito and giving himself away to the world, but he was very aware of when he sent out a heist warning. Which he had not. He signified this with a wide-eyed expression of innocence and a clueless shrug.
Hakuba informed the person on the other end of the phone that -they'd- be there as soon as they could. The bastard then ignored all of his pleas and shoved him into a black taxi that he called, because it would be faster than catching the train up.
It wasn't until Kaito pointed out that Hakuba's namesake, a White Horse, was carved into the hillside that Hakuba realised hey were heading the wrong direction. They needed to go -North- and they were heading South and West. Very South.
The detective had tried to get the driver's attention to inform him of this when the driver suddenly keeled over in the seat, the car coming to a gradual stop. They didn't have to scramble out of the car and check the waxy-looking man's pulse to figure out the obvious.
The driver was dead.
And if the look on Hakuba's face was any indication, he'd been dead for at least a little while.
He'd pulled out his mobile phone to call in the authorities when it had started to rain. Which wasn't entirely unexpected, it rained almost every afternoon here. But this was early afternoon, and a deluge, forcing them to seek shelter inside the car. And the mobile didn't work, they were out of range of the net work.
Which meant that they had to sit there. In the car. With nothing to do. Well, he had offered to play cards, but a blue-eyed glare had cut that short.
Kaito -really- hated those blue contacts.
The noise level was -just- enough to keep him from being able to take a nap, and playing 'I Spy' was definitely out, so he'd spent an uncomfortable length of time waiting for the rain to stop so they could call someone to take care of the dead guy in the front.
Yeah. Dead Guy. That put a lovely chill in the place.
And he was hungry. They hadn't eaten anything since breakfast.
Finally the rain ended and they trudged up to the top of the hill to try to call from there. Only to find that the battery on Kaito's mobile battery was now dead, and now the car was missing.
No taxi. No tire treads, no dry spot to signify where it had been parked.
No explanation.
To say that Hakuba was less than pleased was an understatement. Kaito philosophically thought it was about par for the course today and wished he'd had the sense to climb back into bed this morning and pull the covers over his head. Maybe with Hakuba. The blond made a nice space heater. When he wasn't being a jerk. Just because Kaito liked the guy didn't mean that he didn't want to throttle him within an inch of his life sometimes.
Fortunately, Hakuba's phone could get signal up on top of the hill. Just in time for the people who had contacted Hakuba to begin with to brightly announce that they'd figured out it was a hoax and they'd taken care of the moron.
It would have been debatable who would have killed the man first if he'd been within arm's reach.
Hakuba called Mum and informed her that they were delayed and not to save dinner for them. Kaito's stomach disagreed with this theory.
Phone calls made, they'd done the only logical thing they could do, being stranded in the middle of no where an not knowing where they were. They'd started to walk, keeping a vague eye on the road as they did so, intending to cut along the green fields as soon as they spotted some sort of civilization from their viewpoint on the hill top.
Up hills. Down hills. Around ponds. Over streams. Past sheep. Past sheep droppings. Or in Hakuba's accidental case, through sheep droppings.
Then the road disappeared.
Most of the time, Hakuba had a pretty fair sense of direction. So did Kaito, but his sense of direction was usually better off in mid air with the wind in his face to guide him. So while on the ground and in Hakuba's other home country, he usually let Hakuba lead. But every so often, Hakuba's directional sense just seemed to go on the fritz.
It appeared to be one of those 'every so often'. Since Kaito couldn't point them in the 'right direction', he went along with it. At least it was still Autumn, the air crisp but not too incredibly chilled to be uncomfortable.
Then darkness fell. It was the new moon, which meant there was no additional moonlight to help them see. Kaito's night vision was better than Hakuba's, but even he was having trouble seeing with the cloud cover blocking the starlight as well.
Finally, after stumbling for an untold amount of time --although Hakuba probably would have been able to tell-- down a pothole filled hill towards some lights in the unknown distance, they decided to stop for a bit. Both of them were tired, hungry and cranky and decided that it probably would be a good idea to lie down and get some rest before they killed each other.
So they'd curled up, using Kaito's shorter coat under them to keep at least some of the grass stains to a minimum and Hakuba's as a blanket by virtue that it would actually cover their legs.
Kaito woke up at false dawn, the start of a fresh day, the sky just beginning to lighten enough for everything to be visible. He'd nudged his sleeping partner and second blanket --the detective had a tendency to cuddle in his sleep-- in an attempt to wake him up and finally gave up, squirming out of the detective's grasp and getting up, taking the coat with him.
Upon looking around, he realised that they had spent the night on one of those chalk hill carvings that he'd spotted earlier. Which explained the pot holes they'd been tripped on, the long white trenches that formed the lines of the carving. Only this figure wasn't horse shaped. This one was man shaped.
Very man shaped.
They'd spent the night on a hill carving giant's left nut, the rest of the large phallus pointing up towards the top of the hill.
Hakuba finally woke up when he kicked the detective in the shin and tiredly explained that they were Dorset, on the Cernes Abbas Giant. Because there were only two human shaped hill carvings in Britain and only one had a dick. This was both bad and good news, bad because there was a fence around the giant to keep people from spending the night on it -- a fertility ritual for childless couples-- and good because there was town within walking distance.
Kaito decided he needed to do some reading as far as the folk lore of this island. It wasn't as if he could find a Shinto shrine to make offerings to if the native spirits here got pissed off at you.
So they'd put on their coats, climbed over the barb wire fence before anyone spotted them --they didn't need help in the childless area, thank you--, past the spring that was dedicated to someone called St. Augustine at the base of the hill and began to trudge down the road towards the town.
Along the way down the road, half heartedly attempting to straighten his clothing and comb the grass out of his hair, Kaito came to one very firm decision.
He was going to staple Sir Stinky to Hakuba's backside if they ever left the plushie behind on a trip again.
-fin-
The chalk hill carvings do exist, by the way. The other humanoid chalk hill carving is ‘The Long Man of Wilmington’, who is distinctive because of the two long poles he carries, one on either side of his body.
The joke about Sir Stinky is from 'Shades of Grey', Hakuba's commented that trips have gone horribly wrong whenever he's traveled without the plushie.
Dunno where the phantom taxi came in tho…
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no subject
Date: 2005-08-08 11:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-09 04:56 am (UTC)...does that mean they should bring him out every time they leave the house? :DD
no subject
Date: 2005-08-09 01:34 pm (UTC)%innocently wanders what happened to Hirokini-kun 6.6 -[ .!~ ]%
I think poor Hakuba is going to find a way to hide Sir Stinky in his coat now ^^p... Or Kaito will for him ^^;
I enjoyed this 'nyways! ^___^
ummmm
Date: 2006-01-12 05:40 am (UTC)