Pet Peeve Rant (skip if you want)

[ickaimp]

I have to admit, I have a pet peeve about names.
As Abe no Semei told Hiromasa in the Onmyoji movie, names are the earliest form of magic placed on a human, tying the person to a word. As Abe no Semei’s actor points out in an interview later, changing a person’s name changes who they are in a fundamental way.

In superstition, if you give a deamon your name, you’ve just given them permission to do what they want with you. If you name a deamon, you now have power over them.

Names are special. Names have power.

Names will define who you are.

For over a third of my life, I have been called ‘Icka’. I am Icka over 85% of the time currently. It’s what I introduce myself as, it’s who I think of myself as, it’s what people call me. Icka’s the creative one, the instinctual one, who will leap without looking based on a gut feeling. (which is usually right too)

Before that, I was ‘Jess’. It’s the name I was raised with. It’s on my resume, it’s on one e-mail, it’s what I’m called while at work and it’s what my Folks calls me. Jess is the logical one, the quieter one, the bookworm who figures out the logistics of things before acting.

When I meet people face to face, I will generally be introduced/introduce myself as ‘Icka’. Some people have trouble dealing with a name with the ‘Ick’ sound in it, so I will occasionally offer them the use of ‘Jess’ instead.

At no time do I offer to be called by the combination of the both.

Being called that will either be met one of two ways. Either you will be ignored because I figure you are calling some random small child behind me. Or I will kick you in the shins. Either way, you will be faced with a very irritated and angry redhead.

There are exceptions, of course.
A: If you are one of my Parents AND I’m in trouble. If middle name is included, I’m running like hell cause I just facked up and –know- it.
B: If you are my sister Samantha. Because after being raised with her, I don’t feel like getting into a fist fight over it because she’s bigger than me, got a bigger temper than me, is half-Italian and fights dirty.
C: If you are my dead grandparents age and call me ‘sweetie’ or ‘dearie’ the other half the time because you can’t remember much of anyone’s name. If other endearments are not included, I will assume you are senile, smile, nod and treat you accordingly because it’s not nice to kick your elders in the shins.

Calling me by my full name without said exceptions above means that right off, we have gotten off on the wrong foot. I.E. Instant, total and complete loathing on my part. You have failed. It also means that you are most likely not trust worthy and not a person I will care to spend time with, much less become friendly because you are now lower than a cockroach that has just been trampled on.

‘Jessie’ is tolerated by people who’s cultures don’t end female names with a non-vowel. It’s actually okay because then it’s usually pronounced ‘Yessi’ or ‘Hessi’, which makes it a whole new word. ^^;; And hey, it’s neat to learn about other cultures.

And really, other nicknames are fine. My youngest sister refers to me as ‘Brat’. Dad greets me as ‘Troublemaker’. I’m called ‘Ik’ or ‘Iks’ on chat. Variations on ‘Squid’ occur. I don’t mind. Come up with something unique and creative.

Just Don’t. Call. Me. ♦♦♦♦♦♦ .

Thank you.

Comments

[hakaisha.livejournal.com]

If you don't mind me asking, why do you loathe...that name...so much?

Whatever the reason, though, I sympathize. Have somewhat been there. *glomps*

It's not her

[cldshadow.livejournal.com]

She's not a Jessica. her full name never has and never will fit her. Her spirit is too large and free to be chained down by a normal name

Re: It's not her

[ickaimp.livejournal.com]

'Jessica' never has and prolly never will be my name. Never felt like my name either, growing up, it was just something I responded to when I had to.

'Jess' is close, but 'Icka' is who I am.

For someone to use it is kind of the equvilant to a slap in the face. It's -not- me, so to be called that is like an insult. Severe one at that. Like someone being rude by purposely ignoring you.

Besides, it's like the second most common girl's name in America. If ya wanna call someone 'Jessica', there's a frikkin' lot around.

Re: It's not her

[ickaimp.livejournal.com]

((Huggles Papa))
Thanks. <3

[yuncyn.livejournal.com]

*nods* Duly noted. *hugs*

[jeva-chan.livejournal.com]

Mrrrh...at least you don't have a name that makes you stand out when you don't want to stand out...but I can sympathize. *pats*

[kaitou1412.livejournal.com]

I sympathize. I loathe being called Annie. I almost hit a gym teacher with a bat once when he called me that during a baseball game. The only person who is allowed to call me that is my Uncle Les who calls me 'Annie O'Dea' which isn't quite as bad.

[ickaimp.livejournal.com]

You don't feel like an Annie anyway. Anne suits you. ^__^

[sleepyhowie.livejournal.com]

Ew.

Jess is so much more shorter and friendlier-sounding.

Still prefer Icka-sama/sensei/san though XD.

[ickaimp.livejournal.com]

I'll take the Icka as well, thanks. ^______^ *laughs*

[kosaginolegion.livejournal.com]

I think it's pretty safe to say I wouldn't have been calling you Jessica. This is the first time I'd heard that was your 'real world' name.

It's usually safer to use the name someone introduces themselves by, instead of altering it. 'Course, it gets risky if someone given to using a name you'd prefer they /not/ use is the one doing the introductions.

Kosagi. Deborah. Deb. Anyone who calls me Debbie without being my beloved parents will be growled at.

[ickaimp.livejournal.com]

You're stuck as 'Kosagi' in my head, so no worries on that end.
Besides, I've got 2 Aunt Debbie, one whom is my third Mom. She'll snap at being called 'Deb'. *giggles* ^___^ (and she's got a meeeeeeeeean snap)

'Course, it gets risky if someone given to using a name you'd prefer they /not/ use is the one doing the introductions.

Which is why skeptical expressions are your friend.
And a lousy memory so you have to ask them later. #^^#

[clover-magic.livejournal.com]

Aiiyaaaa....duly noted. ^_^

And yeah, I hate my name too. Only family members and people who are addressing me formally are allowed to call me Morgann. Everyone else it's Momo. *nods* And if anyone calls me Morgie, there is instant and painful death. Rawr.

names

[summercloud.livejournal.com]

Interesting, isn't it, that most people (or at least girls) who hate being called something, hate being called the "cute" version of their name. My theory: when we're young girls, we're cute and harmless and named accordingly. But once we get older, we want to be taken seriously, and it's insulting to call us by the diminutive version.

I guess I'm lucky. There aren't many things you can do with "Amy." Although I, too, often don't feel like my name.

Maybe we should have something like many older cultures had, where you get a "grown-up" name after some sort of rite during adolescence.

Re: names

[shade-scribbler.livejournal.com]

I guess I'm lucky. There aren't many things you can do with "Amy."

Only diminutive I can think of is "Aimmes", and even that isn't too cutsey.

Re: names

[ickaimp.livejournal.com]

'Aim' maybe? o_O

Re: names

[kasuchi]

I knew an Amy who went by "A", like the letter. She was pretty off the beaten path, but a really sweet girl nonetheless.

[kurobahikaru.livejournal.com]

I'm a Jessica, too, but the only place that ever gets used is on job applications and other official-ish paperwork. I've been Jess or Jessy since I was just a little bit, although I did try out all the different versions of Jessy and liked this one the best. (Although when your best friend knows two other Jessicas and met a third yesterday, it helps to be a little unique.)

Kuroba Hikaru is the calmer, more suave, more mature version of me. That's why she's my online persona... in a place with no shortage of idiots, sometimes a cooler head is the only thing that'll save what little sanity you have left.

Jess is a little bit quieter, a little more professional, I guess. That's what I get called at work, when I have to be quick on my feet.

Jessy is, I guess, the real me. The one who can't go into supermarkets when I'm on a tight schedule because I want to look at EVERYTHING. Attention deficit, silly, sometimes hyper... I was tagged with Jessy-Tessy-Tavi a while ago, and it's stuck. I'm all about the "run and find out." ^^;;;

Wow. That's the first time I've ever posted an etymology of my nickname(s). It makes me feel like Jennifer Talldeer in Mercedes Lackey's "Sacred Ground": like an onion, with layers. And I've totally rambled all over your lj. o.o;;;

[ickaimp.livejournal.com]

*laughs* Rambling is fine. ^___^

Yeah. Actually, I got 'Icka' by accident in college.
One of the girls who I hung around with and was in my art class was in a silly mood one day and decided that I needed a nickname. Within the local circle of friends, there were about 5 different 'Jessica's, including a couple of other 'Jess'.
She sat there for a while, trying different things (Sica for one) until she came up with 'Jess... Icka. Icka! I'm gonna call you 'Icka!'.
And for the next half hour proceeded to have the 'Icka-ups' (like hiccups, only Icka). By the end of class, I was Icka. Period.

Got 'Imp' about the same time, cause I'd wander around campus wearing horns. -Real- horn horns, not this fake crap that's trendy now. Horns that looked natural. #^^# Still wear 'em at cons.

But yeah, names do help define who we are and how we react.

And cooler heads are always welcome. ^______^

[kurobahikaru.livejournal.com]

*giggles* Made from cow horn, on a leather thong, found at RenFest or a ren faire, or someplace similar? Friend of mine has those. They're awesome. XD Once A-kon's over with, I'm saving as much as I can for RenFest. Sick of going there and never having any money for clothes, dadgummit. ._.;;;

There was a place somewhere around here or Houston that makes retainer-like vamp fangs, custom, for around $50. They showed up at Nightmare on Grayson once, and I've never seen them again, but I've always wanted a pair of little stubby fangs to wear all the time. Because my own canines are pathetic. ;.; *originally wanted a cute little Excel single fang, and decided that a slightly elongated set of fangs would be nicer* And if I could find toric cat-pupil contacts... *.*

And Tavi still gets out a bit on the 'net, especially when I'm trying to write up a good review to a story. Or when reading campfuckudie, which is hilarious.

I have a problem with that

[cldshadow.livejournal.com]

You define yourself, not your name, As the saying goes "Make a Name for yourself" Imp is more of your nature than your name. Kids get stuck with names our parents give us cause they think they sound strong or they'll give the kid a strong character. They don't seem to understand that by the time we hit sixteen we have grown out of the names they gaves us. I think right before you turn sixteen they should give you the chance to change your name. By then you will have walked this world a little, live a little and found at least a part of your true self.

P.S. This rant is not send out the idea that I hate my name ( Well first name that is)

[gracie-musica.livejournal.com]

I have a peeve about my name too. It's two names combined, and people just automatically think they can call me by the first name.

No! Bad! I broke up with a boyfriend partly because he was calling me that. Even after I told him not to.

I do like my name, it's unique. No one else I know has it. Although I am also called 'Mayday' by numerous friends, both in RL and OL. It's what I introduce myself as to most people. It's a joke that they call me that because I'm the one everyone runs to for help.

Grace is... more creative than Mayday. A lot more creative than Mayday.

Although I will, also, answer to just about anything. :: chuckles ::

[lil-1337.livejournal.com]

Jacalyn has the same problem. Ppl are always wanting to call her Jackie which is soooooooo not her.

[ickaimp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, she's not a Jackie.
... if she's a SG1 fan, could call her 'Jack'.
But think I'll stick with 'Blue Girl'. ^__________^

[acechan.livejournal.com]

...At least you didn't become accustomed to not responding to your name being called, since there were always two other girls with the same name and more friends in your class. I do sympathize, though.

[shade-scribbler.livejournal.com]

Very true, names have power and I am sorry that someone obviously does not understand how important your use of the less conventional nick-name is. Sucks when people think they know better than you do about yourself.

You are very right though about the names having meaning. When iw as little my family called me "Julie" and I was only "Julia" when in trouble. Being of the age that I was trying to learn what those grammer rules were I guess I determined that you ad "ia" when mad because one day in the grocery store My mom wouldn't get me something I wanted, I became very angry and pronounced her to be "mommia!". Strangely I do prefer Julia now, and onlya few people call me Julie or Jules. I always tell people I'll respond to anything polite!

[ryuutchi.livejournal.com]

::laughs:: Look at it this way. People know your name. If you introdce yourself ass "Jess" or even "Jessica" you won't be asked to repeat it because the've never heard your name before.
There ain't much I can do with "Greer". ^^;;;

^______^

[ickaimp.livejournal.com]

Call you 'Gee'!!!!!!!!!!!!

*quickly runs away and hides, giggling*

[mel-redcap.livejournal.com]

Mel. Only my mother calls me Melanie... well, and some people at work, but I'm reeducating them. (And then there's the 'special' worker who calls me Belinda, but I figure that's OK - we both know who she means, and correcting her just gets her upset and afraid she's screwed up.) It's the same with my sister; Mum calls her Victoria, but to everyone else she's Vicky. (NOT 'Vick'. The '-ee' is important )

And since I like calling you Ickasama and Icka-love, I guess I'm safe?

[ickaimp.livejournal.com]

And since I like calling you Ickasama and Icka-love, I guess I'm safe?

Yes. ((Huggles Mel)) You can call me Funny Business any time you want to. ^_____^

[mariechar.livejournal.com]

Wow... lotsa people who don't like their names...

I have two names too, my American name and my Thai/nick name. These are two different people to, I divide my life by people who call me Amanda or Krungkring. If anyone from either side of my life says the wrong name, I just go cold towards them. Or if it's Dukey or stoneblood, then I'll just whack 'em on the back of the head. Literally. Then run like heck before they hit me back.

[green-turquoise.livejournal.com]

I don't think I could ever think of you as anybody but Icka. But I know what you're saying.
I only use my first name (Michael) on official paperwork, I have gone by my middle name (Miyanna) since I was a toddler. If anyone calls me Michael I'm not likely to answer simply because I don't realize it's me. But if anyone tries to call me Michell or Mickey the most polite answer they'll get is "That isn't my name" Some people still don't get it though. I guess some people can't handle a girl named after her dad or the fact that my middle name is hard to spell and sounds 'foreign' but isn't clearly from any particular language, some guesses about my name have been Japanese, Russian, and Hawaiian.

[kasuchi]

I actually never knew your "real" name. I've just always known you as Icka. Heck, at this point, "Jessica" seems really...whacked. (Forgive the 80's slang.)

I'm Aarthi in real life. (Pronounced kinda like are-thee.) I've been called Aretha so much that, at this point, it could probably be a second name for me. I'm a singer in real life as well, so it's not so big a deal. It just...bothers me. "Aretha" feels too...earthy, you know? (Coincidentally, earthy is what MS SpellCheck thinks my name should.) I'm more a water/air type; too much art and dreaming, I suppose. "Aarthi" is a Hindu thing; it refers to the holy fire used to do certain religious ceremonies. It's pretty accurate; I've got a temper and I can be pretty volatile. But I've also been told I'm comforting and passionate, like fire is.

"Kasuchi" is a cutesy version of "Kasumi," my original nickname. Kasumi was taken, so I chose Kasuchi. Kasuchi is...she's an editing machine, but she has her random moments. She's pretty much my geeky self magnified and sans the tactility. Kasuchi is also insightful when she sobers. I guess Kasuchi is a pretty accurate reflection of me, save for the tactility thing. Kasuchi isn't as easily pissed off, either. I don't think Kasuchi gets angry, and when she does, it's quietly. That's a total 360 from Aarthi, who, when angry, is loud and proud.

But, uh, back to my original point, I really don't think your "real" name suits you. If anything, it's not your real name. Your real name is the one you feel most appropriately reflects your inner self. Therefore, Icka is you real name. "Jessica" is just the full name, but it's not necessary; Icka is already a full person. ^__^

'Course, you'll always be Icka-sama to me. I'm not sure why, actually. I think it's just...I met you through your writing first. I respect authors based on their skill and talent (because writing is equal parts both) and you were -- are -- good. Very good. So I guess you could say I give you the -sama pronoun / suffix because I feel you deserve it.

Plus, quite franky, "Icka-sama" just rolls off the tongue better than "Icka-san".

( PS: A "non-vowel" is a consonant. Just thought you should know. ~_^ )

I am sooooooo sorry Icka

[angl3brt.livejournal.com]

Little did I know when I introduced you to my mom that she would insist on your formal name. I introduced you as Icka, but my mom being my mom, she had to know why your name was Icka. My mom does tend to rub people the wrong way so I don't blame you at all for being furious with her. I love my mom, but I am the first to admit that she is a pain in the arse. There have been many times in the past when I have cursed my fate because of how she acts, but please beieve me when I say that I feel really guilty for telling her your formal name. Your formal name doesn't fit you any more than a square peg fits a round hole. It can be forced to work, but it certainly isn't natural.

[goover.livejournal.com]

I will take this information to heart.

I'm not usually called by my real name. Normally Ed. Which is close. :3