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Gacked from Ysabet:
My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother/Sister Flamethrower of Enlightened Rationality. What's yours?

Gizmo has taken to stalking the toilet as of late. Either that or she's worshiping it's porclin-ness. Either way, I'll walk into the bathroom and there the she'll be, curled up on the bathmat, staring at the toilet. >_O Weird cat.

Think we've been teasing Po'e and Dogmatix with this one since Christmas, and the first half of it -finally- fell into place last night, so here it goes...

+++ WIP +++

The only difference in sinner and saints-
One is forgiven and the other one ain't.
-George Jones

"This above all, to thine own self be true; and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man" ~Hamlet


It was a perfectly, calm, peaceful ordinary night in the Hakuba Laboratory. Everyone had left for the night with the exception of one of the few people who had the keys to the place for after hours work, Hakuba Saguru, nephew to the owner of the building. He had keys to the Laboratory due to the random hours that were the mainstay of his usual topic of focus, the Kaitou Kid.

Which he currently was not working in, currently being embroiled in a Virtual Game of Hearts verses the ghost of a boy who was currently a ghost in the machine, the artificial intelligence that they called Hirokini.

Who was currently kicking his arse and snickering about it.

Which to anyone else might have been a revelation about the complexities and advancedness of today's technology, but since he had started hanging out and occasionally swapping tonsils with an Internationally wanted criminal and topic of focus, such things had become commonplace.

Which really just went to show how quickly the bizarre and strange could become mundane once you got used to it.

It was really the small things, once he got down to it. The small things that added up into big things. He'd heard about a thief, from halfway around the world. Interest peaked; he'd begun to chase said thief, moving back to the country of his birth along the way. One snow storm, one inappropriate erection at a bad time and a dare later, he's making out with the thief on the library sofa.

And if that isn't weird enough, he doesn't protest this and it becomes a semi-regular occurrence. Which is good, really.

Then the weirdness snowballs, and by inviting a thief into his life, he got the thief's alter ego and the thief's half-sister as well. And a really scary witch. But no one mentions the witch part. Because the witch has this really weird fondness for small fuzzy animals that he don't really want to think too hard about exactly what she used them for. Especially not with some string and an amount of duct tape.

Which brought him right back to getting his butt kicked by a ghostly AI.

But it really boiled down to one point. By opening the door to one person, he'd actually gained a close circle of friends. And declared war on a mysterious organization which wouldn't hesitate to kill him. And somehow on a rare emotional level, it felt like a fair trade.

A knock on the door abruptly drew him out of such thoughts, pleasant as they might have been. "I'll be right back." He excused himself. Hirokini made a grunting sound, a grumbling acknowledgement. "And no moving the cards around while I'm not here."

"Aww..." Hirokini sulked.

He chuckled to himself as he walked down the hall to the main door. It was probably someone looking for directions, this time of night. He got that occasionally, the large rearing horse logo on the front of the building making it a pretty good landmark for the area. Unfortunately, as he peered through the peephole, he discovered he recognised the people standing on the other side of the door.

Hattori and Kudo. Both of the other detectives were standing with their hands in their pockets with what could only be described as their game faces on.

Well, so much for his calm, peaceful night.

He unlocked the door and opened it. "Greetings."

"No subterfuge this time." Kudo piped up, a bit of a sarcastic smirk curling the sides of his youthful face.

Hattori rolled his eyes at his companion's wit. "We came to talk."

"I see." In their line of work, talk could be more hazardous than action. "Please, come in." He motioned them in, shutting and locking the door behind them before escorting them back down the hall to his laboratory. Neither of the other teenagers seemed inclined to talk until they were sitting, which suited him fine.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" He asked. "We have tea, water and coffee."

Hattori smiled at him, taking it for what it was, politeness and not necessarily as a way to delay talking. "Thanks, but I'm fine." Kudo echoed this as the two pulled up computer chairs to sit on.

He nodded in return, taking his previous seat. "One moment, please." He said to his guests before turning his attention to the computer. "Hirokini-kun."

"Yeah, Saguru-niichan?" Hirokini chirped, startling Hattori. Kudo just looked smug at his friend's reaction. Obviously, Hattori had not been prepared for that.

"I'm afraid I'm going to be indisposed for a while. If you're going to play video games, could you please keep the sound down?"

"Not a problem." The window with the Hearts game on it closed, the opening screen for Halo2 coming up. The music blared for a moment, Hirokini's usual sound level for the game, then faded to near-inaudibility, the boy's cheers and shouts echoing softly over the music.

"Thank you, Hirokini-kun." He turned his attention back to his guests. "What can I do to help you gentlemen tonight?"

"We're all detectives here." Kudo almost-but-not-quite-smirked. "I'm sure you can figure it out."

"Yes." He agreed. They were here to talk about his association with the Kaitou Kid. Kudo, in his own way, was trying to get him to talk first. Probably a way for them all to save face. "But it has been my experience that sometimes deduction is no substitution for honest conversation. Less room for... misunderstandings."

"It's kind of hard sometimes, ta figure out what's true and what's not." Hattori commented, his eyes sparkling, probably about their own previous mixed up conversation. There was no malice in his tone, just a hint of light humour.

Hakuba smiled slightly. "I'll be as candid as possible on the condition that this conversation does not leave this room." He answered forthrightly.

Both Kudo and Hattori paused, taking a moment to study both him and the location. The detectives of the East and the West then exchanged a long glance and both nodded. Interesting form of communication there. Almost like a married couple.

Come to think if it though, he wasn't one to talk. He and Kid had pulled that at one point as well.

Kudo sighed. "Alright." The small body slumped forward slightly, resting elbows on knees. "First off, is he here now?"

Hakuba hid a chuckle. "Not to my knowledge. I have no control over his movements, Detectives. He shows up when and where he pleases."

Hattori's eyes got slightly round. "I bet that gets interestin'."

"He's yet to interrupt me in the shower or the loo, thank goodness." He agreed. Changing clothes was another story entirely however.

"So why was he here last time?" Kudo was still frowning. "He could have left without my knowing he was even there. Yet he purposely made sure I knew the two of you are... are... seeing each other on a regular basis." Kudo's nose wrinkled, as if he was knowing he was getting the words wrong and not knowing how to correct it.

"Associates?" He supplied. Kudo nodded gratefully. "I wondered the same thing at the time. When you last visited, if he had not been there, would you have wondered the veracity of the information you had gotten? Perhaps the means that it was gathered?"

Kudo mused this over. "Yeah."

Hakuba spread his hands out, fingers splayed. "His reply was much along the same lines. By revealing who was helping to supply the information, he hoped to dispel the idea that I had any connections to the men that we are all hunting before it was thought of."

"A pre-emptive strike" Hattori mused. "By offering himself up as a big shiny target."

"Do you have connections to the men in black?" Kudo's gaze was sharp.

"No."

Kudo nodded, small frame relaxing fractionally.

"The idea worked a little to well." Hakuba continued. He probably should just shut up at this moment, but these were the source of quite a bit of vexation for the past several months. "Aspirations of my motives as well as shadows upon my father have been lingering throughout the law enforcement society ever since our last little chat. While casting doubt on my motives is understandable, I would ask that you keep my family out of your insinuations."

The Detective of the East suddenly looked much more like the child he represented. "I didn't... I swear!"

To his surprise, Hattori's eyes narrowed. "Kudo. What did you do?"

"Nothing!" Kudo's hands waved. Hakuba just boggled as Hattori just seemed to -loom- over Kudo. "I just asked a few questions, that's all!"

"To some officers." Hattori concluded. "Dammit, Kudo! You know how the rumour mill flows around a station! Even the hint of impropriety-"

"I just talked to Takagi and Sato!" Kudo snapped back. "And... maybe Yumi..."

"And I heard the rumours down in Osaka, among them that the reason Hakuba here never caught the Kid was because they were sleepin' together, never mind Nakamori!"

Hakuba felt his face heat up. "That is NOT true!" To either Kid sleeping with him or Nakamori-keibu. Really, the last thought was quite enough to make the bile rise in his throat. Ew.

"Then how come you have backed off from chasing the Kid?" Kudo demanded hotly. "You never answered that last time."

"Because the only time they're visible is when Kid is making great big honking target of himself in the process of a heist!" He snapped back, refusing to back down from Kudo's sharp blue eyes. "The Kaitou Kid has been using his presence as a way to draw them out long before any arrangements between us were made."

If Kudo hadn't been busy attempting to deflect attention away from his blunderings, he should have remembered that from their previous discussion.

Hattori's brows came down in a thoughtful expression. "So there's a purpose behind these jewel heists?"

"Amazingly, yes." Hakuba made a pointed effort to relax, trying for a less defensive posture. "If you want more details, you'll have to ask him about it yourselves."

"If we can get a hold of him." Kudo commented snidely.

Hattori ignored him, continuing the questioning. "So how long have ya been workin' together?"

Hakuba sighed, leaning back in the computer chair, making it squeak. "The night we were kidnapped." He admitted. Back in October, so officially less than six months.

"So that was the Kid who got us out." Hattori's face lit up in triumphant glee.

"Possibly." He shrugged. "I still don't know. It could have been, could not have been. Still doesn't matter."

One of the Kansai Detective's eyebrows flickered upwards as if acknowledging that fact.

"I thought you said you didn't control his movements." Kudo pointed out.

"I don't. He stopped by."

"And how long has that been going on?"

Hakuba sighed. "A while."

Kudo looked triumphant. One of Hattori's eyebrows disappeared into the brim of his hat. "How'd that happen?"

"Long story short." Hakuba deadpanned. "I caught him. He got away. In between, we talked."

They stared at him. "Talked?"

"Talked." He repeated. Somehow, he managed not to blush. Talking wasn't precisely all they did the first several visits. Or several of the others. "He stops by occasionally and we talk. Sometimes he returns heists. Sometimes he likes to play jokes. Usually we talk shop, trying to deduce what the bloody hell the mysterious organization is up to."

And play board games. Couldn't forget the board games.

Kudo still seemed puzzled. "But you and he... I mean... you were..."

"Flirting?"

"He kissed you." Kudo looked embarrassed to have said it out loud and Hattori's looked at him with wide eyes, like he wasn't expecting that at all.

Hakuba wasn't not quite sure if he should laugh or hide his head in a bucket somewhere from sheer embarrassment. "Yes he did." Sublimate... Sublimate... Where the hell was that poker face Kid used when he needed it?

Then Hattori was giving him the wide disbelieving eyes and Kudo looked like he was looking for a bucket to hide in as well. "On the nose, Hattori-kun. He kissed me on the nose."

The Osaka detective gave him a silent 'oh' and nodded wisely. Given half a chance, Hakuba had a feeling that Hattori would like to have backed up from this conversation and hidden in another bucket. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in the hopes of heading off the headache that was definitely heading his way.

"In case it has escaped your attention, Kid is a flirt." He quipped dryly. Which was true. Kid flirted with the police. With news cameras. With the screaming fan girls. With the public in general. With Danger most of all. "Bit of a tease, really."

Kudo still stared at him with narrowed eyes. "Have you ever seen him before without his monocle?"

"Once." He sighed. Kudo's face lit up in victory. "Unfortunately, I was neither in possession of my glasses or my contacts at the time, so his features appeared the exact same as they had been with the monocle. Blurry."

Kudo's face fell. It was vaguely amusing in a kind of 'dashing the hopes' sort of way.

"So..." Hattori made a minor throat clearing sound, obviously more than willing to change the subject. "What exactly is your arrangement with the Kid, anyway? To get the information?"

Hakuba shifted forward, forearms resting on his thighs, his hands dangling in the space between his legs. "It's very simple. He gathers information on the mysterious men in black, brings it to me. I analyse the data, make connections and see patterns he does not. That's it."

"What do you do with the information?" Kudo frowned, but his expression was more analytical now.

"Depends. We still do not have a terrible lot of information yet." Well, more than Kudo's brood, but not enough for them to do any serious damage. "When we can, anonymous tips are made to the police. Sometimes Kid will pull a heist, bring the police in and make the location too hot for them to remain. Nothing vigilante, detectives." Everything strictly within the law, except for where it wasn't.

"Ya don't try to stop them?" Hattori looks surprised, glancing over at Kudo. "Face to face?"

Right. His keen fashion sense, sense of daring-do and hawk helped mightily capture an internationally wanted jewel thief. No doubt they would stand up and do the same against a ruthless band of villains and assassins. It was so simple, why hadn't he thought of that before?

"And what would accomplish exactly?" He queried. "Our goal is to track down the -entire- operation, take out the head. Not just mettle with one or two." Which had obviously worked -so- well in Kudo's case. Getting mysteriously splatted like an annoying insect would be oh-so helpful in ridding the world of the mysterious organization. He wasn't that he was blind to what was going on in the mean time --the list of victims that they found was steadily creeping higher-- but he had no wish to see himself, Kid or their associates be killed before they accomplished this task.

Play to your strengths. His were scientific and analytical. Kid's were stealth and impersonation. Neither of them were fighters, although they could do that in their own right.

Hattori on the other hand, was a fighter. So was his rival, the sixth generation Okita Soushi. Hmm...

No. Neither had volunteered, much less asked. Even the sharpest skilled katana couldn't always protect from guns. And Hattori had his hands full keeping tabs on Kudo and Kazuha.

Kudo glared at him, looking like he was ready to spit nails. A glance from Hattori and the smallest detective subsided slightly however, still sulking. "And Kid the phantom thief is just handing this information to you without expecting anything in return."

"He gets my assistance in taking the bastards down." He corrected. "He has his own reasons for wanted them gone." Just like he had his.

"And what about the heists?" Kudo's gaze was shrewd.

"Nothing." He answered bluntly. "It's a gentlemen's agreement. He gives me information on the men in black, I watch for them during a heist. I never have, nor will I ever receive information about any heists being planned."

"So you -have- stopped chasing him." Kudo grinned, having proven his point.

"Far from it. I will, and have, capture Kid the Phantom Thief." He was still rather proud of the fact that he'd accomplished what no one else had, once officially, several times unofficially. Captured the Kaitou Kid. Also the best place to look for danger to the thief was on the Kid's tailcoats.

"Ah, yes." Kudo smirked, reminding him of a small kitten, ready to pounce on an inspecting piece of string. Small, but fierce in a fuzzball sort of way. "Just before Valentine's day. But he escaped police custody."

"Correct." Not his fault the Task Force couldn't keep a hold of him.

"There was someone else on the rooftop with you." Hattori's voice was soft. "A gunman who was arrested as well."

"Also correct." He agreed. "He died a few hours later, in custody. Poison, from what I hear. His body later mysteriously disappeared from the morgue as well." None of the men in black seem to live long after being exposed to the light.

"Question." Kudo's face was calm, but there was a flicker in his eyes, anticipation of a trap well laid about to be sprung. "Who was the gunman aiming at?"

Only one answer to that.

"Me."

The answer seemed damning in the silence that followed, as Kudo's eyes glowing in triumph.

"He let himself be caught." Hattori breathed, following Kudo's thought patterns just a little behind.

Hakuba bid himself not to close his eyes as he recoiled at the feeling of horror in the pit of his stomach at the revelation. Kid had allowed himself to be captured to save Hakuba. In his efforts to protect the theif, he'd become the untouchable Kid's weak point.

"Yup." A slightly mocking voice made them all jump and jerk their heads in the direction of the doorway. "Because there was a second sniper on the rooftop behind Hakuba with a rifle aimed at -my- head."

A smallish teen, dressed in what looked like a school uniform minus the jacket, his hair neat except for a cowlick in the back smiled at them, a cardboard tray with insulated cups on it held in his hands. Hattori was the first to break the shocked silence.

"Kudo!"

A glance towards the real Kudo revealed the shrunken detective practically stiff with rage. "Kid." He hissed.

"Yo! Tantei-kun. Tantei-han. Tantei-san." Kid, disguised as Kudo Shin'ichi, waved in return. With a bit of a swagger and a definite smirk as he lifted up the cardboard tray he was holding as if it were the holy grail. "I bring caffeine."

Hakuba wasn't sure if he was grateful for the rescue, mortified at needing to be rescued or furious at the thief for putting himself at risk. Again.

Kid ignored him, walking over to the smallest detective and plucked a coffee out of the tray, holding it in such a manner that Kudo had the choice between taking it or having it spilled on him. Kudo took it.

"Coffee, black." Kid said with a slight smile, turning his attention to Hattori. The kansai detective held his hand out. "Spicy Chai Tea."

"Thanks." Hattori took the tea, turning the cup in his hands as if he weren't entirely sure if it were safe to drink. Kid ignored this, heading towards Hakuba.

"Cafe Au Lait." Kid handed him a third beverage, then took the last one out of the cardboard container, lazily tossing the tray behind him. The tray landed in the rubbish bin with the grace of a basketball sailing into the hoop with nothing but net. "And mine!" He announced proudly.

Hakuba reached up, pulling Kid's drink out of his fingers and taking a sip. Sweetened Mocha Coffee. Of course Kid would have something sweet and chocolately. He smirked, handing the cup back. "Figures."

Kid sat down in Hakuba's lap, one arm slung around the detective's neck for balance, taking his cup back. Hakuba shifted slightly to accommodate him, his free arm wrapping partially around the thief. Smirking slightly, Kid took a sip of the mocha coffee as if to point out that of course it was predictable to Hakuba. In the background, he was aware of Kudo and Hattori's eyes going wide at their actions.

"So..." The thief purred, evidently quite content to hold the conversation from Hakuba's lap. "You were saying before I interrupted?"

-To be Continued -

Date: 2005-04-13 02:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tdei.livejournal.com
Luff. ::GLOMP:: SO much luff. ::wibbles:: ♥~

Date: 2005-04-13 02:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sakurazuka-jae.livejournal.com
Yay! Much love as always for this fic, and I totally sympathised with poor Heiji in this one - caught in the middle as it were. (I know technically it was Hakuba who's in the middle, but in some ways his having more info at his disposal gives him the advantage. Whereas Heiji's left to trail along behind everyone else, to mop up the mess (love the potential thought that Heiji and Okita might be good providers of muscle).

Also I'm massively biased, but you knew that already *waves Heiji flags*.)

And Kid dressing up as Shinichi and sitting in Hakuba's lap was just... *cracks up laughing*

*grins* So, is this a potential team-up I see in the making?

Date: 2005-04-13 03:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] summercloud.livejournal.com
Whee! I especially love the very last line.

I've got this urge to give this a thoroughly good editing/beta-ing and email it to you. Interested?

Date: 2005-04-15 11:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ickaimp.livejournal.com
I've got this urge to give this a thoroughly good editing/beta-ing and email it to you. Interested?

Please.
Have done much fighting with this one. Writing anything with Conan and Hakuba in the same room isn't easy (they keep fighting! XO ), then throwing Heiji and Kid into the mix makes it harder.
-Which is one reason why PYP takes so long. >P Conan is HARD for us to write!

Date: 2005-04-13 05:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] samcurt.livejournal.com
I assume Hirokini is a typo form of Hiroki.

Date: 2005-04-13 07:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ryuutchi.livejournal.com
Actually, it's a second version of Hiroki (who was introduced in one of the earlier sections of this fic). Thus: Hiroki Two, or Hiroki Ni.

Date: 2005-04-13 08:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] samcurt.livejournal.com
Thank you. Haven't been really after SoG, and is confused by new nouns that look like existing ones.

Date: 2005-04-13 05:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mistressoffoxes.livejournal.com
So much love for this one! ^.^ *huggles*

Date: 2005-04-13 07:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ryuutchi.livejournal.com
Have I mentioned lately how much I love you and your detectives. Gah, this was cute. The snide remarks and the sniping, and then Kaitou showing up and being snuggly and smug... <3

I need a Kaitou icon.

Date: 2005-04-13 12:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] phantom-kaito.livejournal.com
The mental imagame of Kid dressed as Kudo lougining in hakuba's lap while Shinichi and Hattori are watchign will bring me joy till my dying day <3<3<3

Date: 2005-04-13 01:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gracie-musica.livejournal.com
Me too! ::giggles:: Those two act like me and my husband--right down to him sitting on my lap. Hehe.

Date: 2005-04-13 01:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arashi-neko.livejournal.com
*luffs it mightily*

Date: 2005-04-13 03:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iori-baine.livejournal.com
Ooo, this sounds like it will be a fun installment.

..Misunderstood...

Date: 2005-04-13 07:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] song-obsessed1.livejournal.com
When you said Gizmo was worshipping the toilet I thought you meant the little elctronic-loving guy on Teen Titans... Very odd mental image. I didn't know you had a cat named Gizmo.

VERY DISTURBING MENTAL IMAGE, MIND YOU!!

Thanks! Now I shall go and most likely write about it.

Heh.

-Pyro/Shyro

*chokes laughing*

Date: 2005-04-14 06:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] poe-nui.livejournal.com
Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn. That was worth the wait.

*snicker* Poor Hattori, he's really stuck in the middle, isn't he? Every bit that Kid and Hakuba pull to throw Kudo is gonna get him too. *wonders if she should start buying stock in a bucket-manufacturing plant, as Hattori's gonna need a lot of buckets to hide in...*

Ya know, the Kid is rather protective of what is "his" - why do I get the feeling Kudo's gonna really regret those insinuations which started the rumors? *snerk* In fact, with Kid impersonating Kudo while sitting comfortably on Hakuba's lap, Kudo may already be regretting them...

*grins cheerfully* Hakuba and Kid, I foresee, have loads of room to disturb Kudo in the name of teaching him a lesson about rumor-starting... Hattori might be willing to help if it would get Kudo thinking about the larger picture, ie the Real Baddies.

Had a thought...You think being shrunk and having to constantly pretending to be years younger is affecting his judgement? That is, he is not yet encouraged to behave like an adult, so he's a little more emotionally juvenile than the other three.

Date: 2005-04-14 09:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mariechar.livejournal.com
First off: you have weird cat
Secondly: Poor Heiji
Thirdly: Wondering what Kudo is thinking as he sees himself sprawled over Hakuba's lap.
Fourthly: Lovies! I can picture it an' is the cutest

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