[fanfic] SoG: Neutering
Feb. 23rd, 2005 01:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ickaimpCURSE YOU PO'E!!! May bananas blind your eyes! May plunnies multiply in your socks!!! May lovesick off-key crooners haunt your ears!!!
... I'd threaten bodily harm, but you're preggers and we can't do that...
A local shop that I had a gift certificate for had 'From Eroica With Love' at 75% off.
That series is extreeeeeeeeeeemely shojou. I loathe shojou. Seriously, a girl named SUGAR PLUM?!?! The ART STYLE?! The whole first scene with Erotica and Caesar with the fainting and the swooning and the crying? Green bottles? Tanks?
Ye gawds, I couldn't stop snickering. Ended up reading parts of it out loud to MOrgan over the phone in between laughing bouts.
You are truly an evil evil onna.
So here's a plunnie back at ya, ya prat. And I swear, if the fainting and the swooning and the crying make it in, we bloody well know who's fault it is, huh?
Prolly not work-safe, those without dirty minds, go away.
Hakuba gave his sporadic nighttime a dry glare as he walked over to the wardrobe, one hand reaching up to unknot his tie. "I'm not getting anywhere near -you- tonight."
Kid, from his position leaning against the computer desk on the other side of the room, snickered.
"Seriously." He hung the tie up on the tie rack and wrestled out of the suit coat. "What the HELL were you thinking, neutering a statue?!"
"It was detachable." Kid shot back. It was hard to tell if he was more irritated or amused about the whole thing. After all, the thief had been the one sticking his hand up a Greek statue's miniskirt.
Correction: A Greek Statue's -Khiton-.
Aoko had made a comment about it looking like a ruffled mini-skirt while dropping off dinner for her father during a Task Force meeting and it had stuck, much to the immature amusement of the majority of the officers.
Hakuba turned to stare at the thief. "It had a detachable penis?"
"Yeah." Kid looked -almost- embarrassed. Almost, if you looked past the game-face smirk he seemed to have pasted on like a shield. Either he was getting better adapted to reading Kid or things were slipping from Kid's mask without his knowledge.
He sighed, momentarily pinching his eyes shut, trying to block out the image of Kid reaching up a large Greek statue's miniskirt to rip off it's gentiles. It didn't matter that he and the rest of the Task Force had been momentarily blind when it had taken place due to a flash grenade, the image was one that was going to haunt for a while.
"And you knew this... how?"
Kid sniffed disdainfully. "I -can- read the history books. If someone had done their research, they would have discovered that the parts in question were added at a later date as a hidden cache."
Great. Double entendre time. "To hide what?"
The thief shifted his feet slightly, a small nervous tell. "I'm not asking you to return them." He grumbles warily, obviously still sore from the aftermath of the carnelian dildo heist.
"Kid." It's like having a small retriever that doesn't know when to give the ball back. Or Watson on a stubborn day.
"Couple decades after the statue was made, family heard rumour about invading forces and decided to hide some of their more impressive jewels where invaders couldn't find them." Kid explains, pulling a handkerchief out of mid air, something cradled in it's silken folds. "Limbs and heads of statues have a habit of disappearing, so they hid it in the torso area, in the hopes of coming back for it. They never did, so I did."
He's getting annoyed with the games. "And what exactly did they hide, Kid?"
The thief holds out the stone phallus in the palm of one hand. The statue was larger than life size, so is this. With the air of a showman, Kid reached out, placing the palm of his other hand on top. With a small 'click', like the sound of stone rubbing against stone, the object split in half horizontally, the top coming off like the lid of a jewellery box.
Resting in the other half were five polished gems, all different colours. Two circular ones at the base, two long oblong ones in the middle and one at the tip shaped like a large robin's egg. The dark stones sparkled against the pale stone, as if pleased to be found.
Kid smirked, his voice light and mocking. "The family jewels, of course."
-fin-
Did you know that the microsoft word dictionary has no thesaurus entries for 'dick', 'penis', or 'genitals'? It does however have one for 'cock', for which it suggests 'raise', 'tilt', 'lift', 'incline', 'angle' or 'elevate'. *goes off to a corner and privately dies*
Odd bus story:
Was taking 'From Eroica with Love' over to MOrgan's house and ended up stuck waiting for the bus over half an hour with a couple of pretty cool pot-smoking hippies. (they were very nice and asked if it was okay for them to smoke before doing so.) But over the course of talking with them (B.S. degrees, mexican disco, lighting one's self on fire in January), they wanted to see the book.
Were very nostalgic over the artstyle and clothes, even when I pointed out that the weeping person between the two hugging men was a guy.
^^;;
Bus stops are cool. Yesterday a lady said with my hat, I should be called 'Marmalade'. #^^#
(watching Van Hellsing animated movie)
Van Hellsing: Hold on!
Carl: To what? Aaahhhhhhhh!!!
Icka: I think he's crotching him...
Sean: -That- is NOT a handle...
... I'd threaten bodily harm, but you're preggers and we can't do that...
A local shop that I had a gift certificate for had 'From Eroica With Love' at 75% off.
That series is extreeeeeeeeeeemely shojou. I loathe shojou. Seriously, a girl named SUGAR PLUM?!?! The ART STYLE?! The whole first scene with Erotica and Caesar with the fainting and the swooning and the crying? Green bottles? Tanks?
Ye gawds, I couldn't stop snickering. Ended up reading parts of it out loud to MOrgan over the phone in between laughing bouts.
You are truly an evil evil onna.
So here's a plunnie back at ya, ya prat. And I swear, if the fainting and the swooning and the crying make it in, we bloody well know who's fault it is, huh?
Prolly not work-safe, those without dirty minds, go away.
Hakuba gave his sporadic nighttime a dry glare as he walked over to the wardrobe, one hand reaching up to unknot his tie. "I'm not getting anywhere near -you- tonight."
Kid, from his position leaning against the computer desk on the other side of the room, snickered.
"Seriously." He hung the tie up on the tie rack and wrestled out of the suit coat. "What the HELL were you thinking, neutering a statue?!"
"It was detachable." Kid shot back. It was hard to tell if he was more irritated or amused about the whole thing. After all, the thief had been the one sticking his hand up a Greek statue's miniskirt.
Correction: A Greek Statue's -Khiton-.
Aoko had made a comment about it looking like a ruffled mini-skirt while dropping off dinner for her father during a Task Force meeting and it had stuck, much to the immature amusement of the majority of the officers.
Hakuba turned to stare at the thief. "It had a detachable penis?"
"Yeah." Kid looked -almost- embarrassed. Almost, if you looked past the game-face smirk he seemed to have pasted on like a shield. Either he was getting better adapted to reading Kid or things were slipping from Kid's mask without his knowledge.
He sighed, momentarily pinching his eyes shut, trying to block out the image of Kid reaching up a large Greek statue's miniskirt to rip off it's gentiles. It didn't matter that he and the rest of the Task Force had been momentarily blind when it had taken place due to a flash grenade, the image was one that was going to haunt for a while.
"And you knew this... how?"
Kid sniffed disdainfully. "I -can- read the history books. If someone had done their research, they would have discovered that the parts in question were added at a later date as a hidden cache."
Great. Double entendre time. "To hide what?"
The thief shifted his feet slightly, a small nervous tell. "I'm not asking you to return them." He grumbles warily, obviously still sore from the aftermath of the carnelian dildo heist.
"Kid." It's like having a small retriever that doesn't know when to give the ball back. Or Watson on a stubborn day.
"Couple decades after the statue was made, family heard rumour about invading forces and decided to hide some of their more impressive jewels where invaders couldn't find them." Kid explains, pulling a handkerchief out of mid air, something cradled in it's silken folds. "Limbs and heads of statues have a habit of disappearing, so they hid it in the torso area, in the hopes of coming back for it. They never did, so I did."
He's getting annoyed with the games. "And what exactly did they hide, Kid?"
The thief holds out the stone phallus in the palm of one hand. The statue was larger than life size, so is this. With the air of a showman, Kid reached out, placing the palm of his other hand on top. With a small 'click', like the sound of stone rubbing against stone, the object split in half horizontally, the top coming off like the lid of a jewellery box.
Resting in the other half were five polished gems, all different colours. Two circular ones at the base, two long oblong ones in the middle and one at the tip shaped like a large robin's egg. The dark stones sparkled against the pale stone, as if pleased to be found.
Kid smirked, his voice light and mocking. "The family jewels, of course."
-fin-
Did you know that the microsoft word dictionary has no thesaurus entries for 'dick', 'penis', or 'genitals'? It does however have one for 'cock', for which it suggests 'raise', 'tilt', 'lift', 'incline', 'angle' or 'elevate'. *goes off to a corner and privately dies*
Odd bus story:
Was taking 'From Eroica with Love' over to MOrgan's house and ended up stuck waiting for the bus over half an hour with a couple of pretty cool pot-smoking hippies. (they were very nice and asked if it was okay for them to smoke before doing so.) But over the course of talking with them (B.S. degrees, mexican disco, lighting one's self on fire in January), they wanted to see the book.
Were very nostalgic over the artstyle and clothes, even when I pointed out that the weeping person between the two hugging men was a guy.
^^;;
Bus stops are cool. Yesterday a lady said with my hat, I should be called 'Marmalade'. #^^#
(watching Van Hellsing animated movie)
Van Hellsing: Hold on!
Carl: To what? Aaahhhhhhhh!!!
Icka: I think he's crotching him...
Sean: -That- is NOT a handle...
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no subject
Date: 2005-02-23 09:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-23 10:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-23 09:49 pm (UTC)............I should have known better than to read this in a library; if I burst something trying to to laugh, I'm billing you for half the medical care. X3
Damn good fic. Lovely punchline. XD
no subject
Date: 2005-02-23 10:40 pm (UTC)if I burst something trying to to laugh, I'm billing you for half the medical care.
Oi! With what money? I'm unemployed here!!!
Besides, they say laughter is the best medicine. ~_^
*snerk*
Date: 2005-03-04 08:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-23 10:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-23 10:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-24 05:36 pm (UTC)I think you meant genetalia. At least, I think that's how it's spelled... ^^;;;
*falls over laughing*
Date: 2005-03-04 08:44 pm (UTC)Your welcome, dear lady! *blinks innocently* I am gratified to know that my recommendation is helping your muses. It is a relief to know that my warped sense of humor is keeping to standards. Low standards, that is. *grins*
no subject
Date: 2005-03-05 06:56 am (UTC)