[fanfic] Shades of Grey: The Hedgehog Song
Jan. 7th, 2005 02:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ickaimp@Q$#@%Y%$&@%#@ plunnies, just when we're tryin' ta sleep....
Um... can be put just about any place after Kuroba and Hakuba start to kinda get along ('Blurring the lines', but most likely after 'Relative Truths')
+++ The Hedgehog Song +++
"-But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all," Hakuba sang softly to himself as he walked onto the grounds of Ekoda High. Yes, the song was a bit ribald, but it was not like anyone would really understand what he was singing.
"Hedgehog?" With the exception perhaps of Kuroba, who was catching up to him with a perplexed expression on his face.
"The Hedgehog Song." He agreed before continuing on to the next verse. "Mounting a horse can often be fun, an elephant too; though he weighs half a ton... Wait, where's Aoko-kun?" Kuroba constant shadow was missing.
Kuroba motioned behind them with a casual hand. "Talking to Koizumi." His less-than thrilled expression said it all. Koizumi usually equaled trouble.
"Ah. Even a mouse -though his hole is quite small, But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all..."
Kuroba raised an eyebrow. "What's that from?"
"From the Diskworld novels, a series of books by an Englishman named Terry Pratchett. It's a song sung by one of the characters, Nanny Ogg." He grinned to himself. "I got the latest volume in the post yesterday. They're quite humorous."
"I'll bet." Kuroba's sly look was tempered with amusement.
"The spines on his back are so awful thick, you'll end up with naught but a painful prick. He has an impregnable hole when curled up in a ball, Hence-"
"-The hedgehog can never be buggered at all!" Kuroba sang the last line with him, grinning.
The grin faded into a retrospective look. "Oi, Hakuba?"
"-A fish is refreshing, although a bit wet- Yes?"
"What does 'bugger' mean exactly? I've heard you use it a few times, but never explained it."
"What? Uh... oh." Bugger, indeed. "It's a mild swear."
"So..." Brows came down slightly as Kuroba attempted to put everything together. "The point of the song is that you're swearing at the hedgehog? Like 'bloody' or 'blooming'?"
"Not.. quite. In this case, 'Buggered' is an action."
"Action?"
"Yes."
An eyebrow rose skeptically. "What kind of action?"
As he felt his face turn red, Hakuba sincerely hoped that Kuroba was teasing him. But got the feeling Kuroba was not. Slang was not a subject they'd covered in their discussions, as either Kid or Kuroba. The girls got quiet behind them and he was hesitant to say anything that might get either of them hit. "Sort of a..." He made a vague gesture with his hand, hoping the girls didn't catch it.
The other eyebrow joined the first one nearly touching the hair line. "You mean..." Kuroba made a much more lewd motion with his hands.
"Exactly." Hakuba agreed. "Only usually..." He faltered, fumbling for the words. Is this what it felt like to be asked by a small child where babies came from? "Arse."
Kuroba looked like he'd bit into something unexpected. He made the hand gesture again. "Arse?!"
"Yes."
"Hedgehog?!"
"Yes."
Kuroba's face scrunched up in an expression of extreme discomfort.
"Yes." Hakuba agreed, nodding. "Hence the hedgehog can never be buggered at all."
"Geh!" Kuroba grimaced in agreement. "I never knew how perverted you were!"
Hakuba laughed, feeling much better. Kuroba glanced over at him and then back to the girls behind them, who were giggling mightily.
"Two questions." Kuroba deadpanned, his face stony.
"All right."
"Do you think Koizumi knows any English?"
"Not sure. Why?"
A grin stretched across the magician's face, almost reaching from ear to ear. "Got any verses that deal with rabbits?"
-fin-
This is what happens when plunnies collide.
We were talking to MOrgan and Mati about the song ‘A Wizard's staff has a knob on the end’, which had come up in a Harry Potter fic we read yesterday, when MOrgan commented she kept meaning to look up the words.
Me, being a smart alec, did so in another window, finding the lyrics not only to ‘A Wizard's staff has a knob on the end’, but to ‘The Hedgehog Song’ by Terry Pratchett as well.
Comment was made about Hakuba being a Terry Prachett fan, which collided with an old plunnie about him being a closet sci-fi geek.
Take one attempt to walk away from the computer to go to sleep and boom! Instant fic.
Both songs can be found here:
http://www.lammermoor.com/nannyogg/songs.html
Apologies to Mr. Pratchett.
Um... can be put just about any place after Kuroba and Hakuba start to kinda get along ('Blurring the lines', but most likely after 'Relative Truths')
+++ The Hedgehog Song +++
"-But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all," Hakuba sang softly to himself as he walked onto the grounds of Ekoda High. Yes, the song was a bit ribald, but it was not like anyone would really understand what he was singing.
"Hedgehog?" With the exception perhaps of Kuroba, who was catching up to him with a perplexed expression on his face.
"The Hedgehog Song." He agreed before continuing on to the next verse. "Mounting a horse can often be fun, an elephant too; though he weighs half a ton... Wait, where's Aoko-kun?" Kuroba constant shadow was missing.
Kuroba motioned behind them with a casual hand. "Talking to Koizumi." His less-than thrilled expression said it all. Koizumi usually equaled trouble.
"Ah. Even a mouse -though his hole is quite small, But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all..."
Kuroba raised an eyebrow. "What's that from?"
"From the Diskworld novels, a series of books by an Englishman named Terry Pratchett. It's a song sung by one of the characters, Nanny Ogg." He grinned to himself. "I got the latest volume in the post yesterday. They're quite humorous."
"I'll bet." Kuroba's sly look was tempered with amusement.
"The spines on his back are so awful thick, you'll end up with naught but a painful prick. He has an impregnable hole when curled up in a ball, Hence-"
"-The hedgehog can never be buggered at all!" Kuroba sang the last line with him, grinning.
The grin faded into a retrospective look. "Oi, Hakuba?"
"-A fish is refreshing, although a bit wet- Yes?"
"What does 'bugger' mean exactly? I've heard you use it a few times, but never explained it."
"What? Uh... oh." Bugger, indeed. "It's a mild swear."
"So..." Brows came down slightly as Kuroba attempted to put everything together. "The point of the song is that you're swearing at the hedgehog? Like 'bloody' or 'blooming'?"
"Not.. quite. In this case, 'Buggered' is an action."
"Action?"
"Yes."
An eyebrow rose skeptically. "What kind of action?"
As he felt his face turn red, Hakuba sincerely hoped that Kuroba was teasing him. But got the feeling Kuroba was not. Slang was not a subject they'd covered in their discussions, as either Kid or Kuroba. The girls got quiet behind them and he was hesitant to say anything that might get either of them hit. "Sort of a..." He made a vague gesture with his hand, hoping the girls didn't catch it.
The other eyebrow joined the first one nearly touching the hair line. "You mean..." Kuroba made a much more lewd motion with his hands.
"Exactly." Hakuba agreed. "Only usually..." He faltered, fumbling for the words. Is this what it felt like to be asked by a small child where babies came from? "Arse."
Kuroba looked like he'd bit into something unexpected. He made the hand gesture again. "Arse?!"
"Yes."
"Hedgehog?!"
"Yes."
Kuroba's face scrunched up in an expression of extreme discomfort.
"Yes." Hakuba agreed, nodding. "Hence the hedgehog can never be buggered at all."
"Geh!" Kuroba grimaced in agreement. "I never knew how perverted you were!"
Hakuba laughed, feeling much better. Kuroba glanced over at him and then back to the girls behind them, who were giggling mightily.
"Two questions." Kuroba deadpanned, his face stony.
"All right."
"Do you think Koizumi knows any English?"
"Not sure. Why?"
A grin stretched across the magician's face, almost reaching from ear to ear. "Got any verses that deal with rabbits?"
-fin-
This is what happens when plunnies collide.
We were talking to MOrgan and Mati about the song ‘A Wizard's staff has a knob on the end’, which had come up in a Harry Potter fic we read yesterday, when MOrgan commented she kept meaning to look up the words.
Me, being a smart alec, did so in another window, finding the lyrics not only to ‘A Wizard's staff has a knob on the end’, but to ‘The Hedgehog Song’ by Terry Pratchett as well.
Comment was made about Hakuba being a Terry Prachett fan, which collided with an old plunnie about him being a closet sci-fi geek.
Take one attempt to walk away from the computer to go to sleep and boom! Instant fic.
Both songs can be found here:
http://www.lammermoor.com/nannyogg/songs.html
Apologies to Mr. Pratchett.
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no subject
Date: 2005-01-07 11:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-07 01:40 pm (UTC)BTW, the formatting is a bit screwy in places... was that copy+paste?
no subject
Date: 2005-01-07 11:20 pm (UTC)Hmm... it looks fine here, dunno... o_O *puzzled*
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Date: 2005-01-08 01:08 am (UTC)As he felt his face turn red, Hakuba sincerely hoped that Kuroba was teasing him. But got the feeling Kuroba was not. Slang was not a subject they'd covered in their discussions,
as either Kid or Kuroba. The girls got quiet behind them and he was hesitant to say anything that might get either of them hit. "Sort of a..." He made a vague gesture with his hand,
hoping the girls didn't catch it.
Where the sentences are suddenly chopped off to a next line. ._.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-19 11:22 pm (UTC)Thank you!!!
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Date: 2005-01-07 06:23 pm (UTC)LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!
no subject
Date: 2005-01-07 10:03 pm (UTC)*waves from the floor*
Date: 2005-01-09 07:08 am (UTC)... *blinks* can you see Death taking a holiday and running into this crowd of nuts?!