[fic] Shinigami Side Stories: Golem
Jul. 17th, 2005 12:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ickaimpAngst. Geh.
Thanks to MOrgan and Hell's Hauntress for catching errors.
+++ Shinigami Side Stories: Golem +++
He wanted to die.
I could feel it, in my blood, in my bones, in the vast aching hollowness that's called my soul.
My creation, my protector, my friend. My last tie, my last remnant of my family, gone to dust. He cried out for me, but I had no tears to give him.
I could grant him what I could, a reprieve from the sorrow that we both shared. 'Come' I called, beckoning him as I slipped from the safety of those who now tried to protect me, into the silent streets of the dark night.
He came. For one who was so large, his footfalls were silent in his approach. I'd made him well, this would have been guardian of me and my sister. He stood before me, a feeling of unease around his stone countenance as he looked down at me. We'd been even in height when I'd first created him and the change was as unsettling to him as it was to I.
"Would you like to put your head in my lap?" I offered from where I had waited, sitting on the bench in park close to Hakase's house. He hesitated, unused now to questions instead of commands. One more shared sorrow.
He slowly knelt at my feet, then leaned forward, placing his head on my legs. His head was heavy, but not overly so. He would do nothing to hurt me. Unless Gin told him to. Then the conflicts would arise.
Gin had taken my shawl and her books away from me, but that didn't make him either of their masters. Gin just thought he was, a mistake from when I had been foolish enough to trust their dark organization with the safety of my sister and of my creation.
My poor poor protector. He had been created to help, not to kill. The blood that soaked his body cried for both of us. He protected me as he could, ignoring me, drawing Gin’s wrath away from me.
My hands, small now, much smaller than when I had shaped him, ran down his face, feeling it again. He sighed, a small breath of pleasure, the rocks that were his shoulders slumping in what would probably be relief, if he were capable of feeling true emotion.
Golems were such basic creatures. They required no food, no sleep, required no power source, felt no pain. Give them a mission and they did it.
But they were bound to their masters, they had no choice but to obey. I had thought that I had given him more free will than that, but in the end, he couldn't rebel either. He was trapped, like I had been. Like I still was. Only he was trapped by his shell of a body.
I took off abominable hat they dressed him in and set it beside me, running his hands over what was his sculpted black hair. The glasses followed, his carved colourless, sightless eyes staring out into the trees. He'd always liked the trees, enjoying the tranquility nature brought. Perhaps it was the closest he could get to the earth he had come from.
I hummed a little tune Mother had hummed from when Akemi was little. Probably from when I was young as well, but I don't remember those times. Just of Akemi.
The humming and the petting is for my benefit, not his. He feels nothing for this, but it soothing to me. I wish that I had not brought him this sorrow, but was comforted by his presence during my trials. And to me that is precious. For that I am thankful to him.
The night slips by around us, time is a meaningless fog. Time could be minutes, could be hours for all I care. All that exists is he and I and what little peace we can bring to this moment.
It is almost to my surprise, untold hours later when I look down to find that he is no more, just a lump of clay that I am cradling in my lap. My fingers did what I could not, wiped away the 'truth' on his forehead into 'death'. I have no tears to offer him, my clay made man. I have no grave to give what is now a pile of dirt and rock and no name to put upon a grave, save the one that they gave him. Perhaps I would return here later, and pour and offering to the dirt that he was of what they had named him.
Vodka.
The sky is starting to change the colour of the sky when I finally release him, returning to Hakase's house.
There is nothing more I can offer him.
I am merely human. And weak at that.
-fin-
To destroy a golem, you're supposed to change the Hebrew word for 'Truth' (Emet) that's written into the Hebrew word for 'Death' (Met) by wiping away the first character.
Argh. Hate writing Haibara. Hate it hate it hate it.
*breaths deep, channels inner goth*
Geh.
Thanks to MOrgan and Hell's Hauntress for catching errors.
+++ Shinigami Side Stories: Golem +++
He wanted to die.
I could feel it, in my blood, in my bones, in the vast aching hollowness that's called my soul.
My creation, my protector, my friend. My last tie, my last remnant of my family, gone to dust. He cried out for me, but I had no tears to give him.
I could grant him what I could, a reprieve from the sorrow that we both shared. 'Come' I called, beckoning him as I slipped from the safety of those who now tried to protect me, into the silent streets of the dark night.
He came. For one who was so large, his footfalls were silent in his approach. I'd made him well, this would have been guardian of me and my sister. He stood before me, a feeling of unease around his stone countenance as he looked down at me. We'd been even in height when I'd first created him and the change was as unsettling to him as it was to I.
"Would you like to put your head in my lap?" I offered from where I had waited, sitting on the bench in park close to Hakase's house. He hesitated, unused now to questions instead of commands. One more shared sorrow.
He slowly knelt at my feet, then leaned forward, placing his head on my legs. His head was heavy, but not overly so. He would do nothing to hurt me. Unless Gin told him to. Then the conflicts would arise.
Gin had taken my shawl and her books away from me, but that didn't make him either of their masters. Gin just thought he was, a mistake from when I had been foolish enough to trust their dark organization with the safety of my sister and of my creation.
My poor poor protector. He had been created to help, not to kill. The blood that soaked his body cried for both of us. He protected me as he could, ignoring me, drawing Gin’s wrath away from me.
My hands, small now, much smaller than when I had shaped him, ran down his face, feeling it again. He sighed, a small breath of pleasure, the rocks that were his shoulders slumping in what would probably be relief, if he were capable of feeling true emotion.
Golems were such basic creatures. They required no food, no sleep, required no power source, felt no pain. Give them a mission and they did it.
But they were bound to their masters, they had no choice but to obey. I had thought that I had given him more free will than that, but in the end, he couldn't rebel either. He was trapped, like I had been. Like I still was. Only he was trapped by his shell of a body.
I took off abominable hat they dressed him in and set it beside me, running his hands over what was his sculpted black hair. The glasses followed, his carved colourless, sightless eyes staring out into the trees. He'd always liked the trees, enjoying the tranquility nature brought. Perhaps it was the closest he could get to the earth he had come from.
I hummed a little tune Mother had hummed from when Akemi was little. Probably from when I was young as well, but I don't remember those times. Just of Akemi.
The humming and the petting is for my benefit, not his. He feels nothing for this, but it soothing to me. I wish that I had not brought him this sorrow, but was comforted by his presence during my trials. And to me that is precious. For that I am thankful to him.
The night slips by around us, time is a meaningless fog. Time could be minutes, could be hours for all I care. All that exists is he and I and what little peace we can bring to this moment.
It is almost to my surprise, untold hours later when I look down to find that he is no more, just a lump of clay that I am cradling in my lap. My fingers did what I could not, wiped away the 'truth' on his forehead into 'death'. I have no tears to offer him, my clay made man. I have no grave to give what is now a pile of dirt and rock and no name to put upon a grave, save the one that they gave him. Perhaps I would return here later, and pour and offering to the dirt that he was of what they had named him.
Vodka.
The sky is starting to change the colour of the sky when I finally release him, returning to Hakase's house.
There is nothing more I can offer him.
I am merely human. And weak at that.
-fin-
To destroy a golem, you're supposed to change the Hebrew word for 'Truth' (Emet) that's written into the Hebrew word for 'Death' (Met) by wiping away the first character.
Argh. Hate writing Haibara. Hate it hate it hate it.
*breaths deep, channels inner goth*
Geh.
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no subject
Date: 2005-07-17 07:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-17 06:26 pm (UTC)pour an
doffering[/grammar and spelling police]
I liked it, Icka, it was very nice, and very Haibara.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-17 08:57 pm (UTC);_; It's nice though... and...um... xD; Help my currently failing memory, is Vodka the tall one or the short one? *thinks it's the short one but...*
no subject
Date: 2005-07-19 04:47 am (UTC)'Gin' not only is a drink, but the Japanese word for 'Silver'. (kinda like his long hair)
no subject
Date: 2005-07-20 06:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-22 02:57 am (UTC)