ickaimp: (Default)
Icka! M. Chif ([personal profile] ickaimp) wrote2007-03-27 12:09 am

"And once again common sense loses out to, well, lack of common sense."

... Ysabet wants to find a 'Dominatrix for Dummies' book now....

(she's cheerfully saying this while ironing clothing, which somehow makes it worse)

[identity profile] misskat.livejournal.com 2007-03-27 06:51 am (UTC)(link)
last night terry suggested i write a serial killing for dummies book.
it's a cool idea, but i don't know enough about forensics lol

[identity profile] twit-trisana.livejournal.com 2007-03-27 04:38 pm (UTC)(link)
The first step to committing the perfect murder is shaving all of your hair. >D

[identity profile] misskat.livejournal.com 2007-03-27 07:50 pm (UTC)(link)
NOOO MY LOVELY LONG HAIR!
and either burning or scraping off your finger prints *ow*

[identity profile] dogmatix-san.livejournal.com 2007-03-27 06:58 am (UTC)(link)
Something like this? (http://www.amazon.com/Mistress-Manual-Girls-Female-Dominance/dp/1890159190/ref=tag_tdp_dp/103-2269266-0252643) *props halo up on horns*

[identity profile] mmoneurere.livejournal.com 2007-03-27 07:07 am (UTC)(link)
I feel so...excluded! I'd be all over a book about femme dominance, but...

[identity profile] dogmatix-san.livejournal.com 2007-03-27 08:09 am (UTC)(link)
*patpat* Try the 'explore similar items' list thing? I'd bet there'll be something in there that fits what you're looking for. Probably several. In chains and latex, even. *g*

!!1111!!!!!!!!!!!! WAITADAMNMINUTEHERE!!!!

[identity profile] ysabet.livejournal.com 2007-03-27 06:58 am (UTC)(link)
OKAY. NOW HEAR THIS. THE 'DOMINATRIX FOR DUMMIES' BOOK MENTIONED BY HER SQUIDDINESS WAS BEING SOUGHT FOR A *FRIEND*, OKAY???!!?? XP YES, A FRIEND. A REAL ONE, NOT A "FRIEND". She lives in Texas. And no, I'm not talking about YOU, 'Mati, unless you have hobbies I don't know about...

AND No, I am *not* branching out. **strangles Icka with her own tentacles** On the other hand, I may be opening a rogue SUSHI BAR any time now... >D

*perks* Sushi?

[identity profile] dogmatix-san.livejournal.com 2007-03-27 08:12 am (UTC)(link)
*snicker* No, you know all my perv points, I think. (yaoi, tentacles, incest, tentacles, xenokink, and did I mention the tentacles?) XD

This does raise a burning question though; does eating calamari count as cannibalism for Icka? o.o

Re: *perks* Sushi?

[identity profile] mariechar.livejournal.com 2007-03-31 04:51 pm (UTC)(link)
xenokink? eh?

Oh, and yeah. i heard the BD scene is real big, not to mention tons of money

Re: *perks* Sushi?

[identity profile] dogmatix-san.livejournal.com 2007-03-31 06:53 pm (UTC)(link)
xeno - non-human
kink - ...yeah.

Which basically means that horns, claws, demons, youkai, tentacles, etc makes me purr like the pervy kitty I am. There doesn't even need to be yaoi, though that always helps. XD

[identity profile] morgan-idril.livejournal.com 2007-03-27 07:04 am (UTC)(link)
if course she would do it that way. This is Ysabet. And I know there is a begining Book for Doms. It used to be carried by Borders till they got stuffy. I would check Fascinations for it cause I think they carried it too. Also one for Subs.

[identity profile] hakaisha.livejournal.com 2007-03-27 07:17 am (UTC)(link)
*dies laughing at Ysa's spluttering denial* Sure Ysa. Suuuuuuuure. Dominatrix for Dummies?!

I'm not sure if I should be more amused at Ysa's denial or the title "her squiddiness"...XD

[identity profile] ysabet.livejournal.com 2007-03-27 02:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Hauntress, you are NOT HELPING!!! **more sputtering** And anyway, it's true-- the friend I mentioned is one I've known for absolute YEARS, and all of a sudden when I saw her a few months back she said rather thoughtfully that she was thinking of going into the Dominatrix business (the non-callgirl kind, with domination but not sex, being that prostitution is illegal in her area. Her business, not mine... Hard to see how you can keep 'em separate, but whatever.) They make around $300-$400 per client session if they're good at it, apparently... and yeah, she'd be good.

As for me, I could never ever do that for any length of time-- I'd develope the giggles SO fast. It's the outfit. I'd start paying attention to how the leather creaks, start making odd noises with an armpit, and totally lose all my client's respect.

Now, if they had a category for people who were hired to teach you how to PLAY... Professional 'Adult Children', to borrow a term from bardicsidhe. I could do that, you know?

[identity profile] tively-split.livejournal.com 2007-03-27 04:41 pm (UTC)(link)
"Dominatrix for Dummies"? Hmmmm... Last time I saw it, it just a few books over from the stack of inflatable sheep...

-_~

[identity profile] impfics.livejournal.com 2007-03-27 04:46 pm (UTC)(link)
*dies laughing* >D

[identity profile] ysabet.livejournal.com 2007-03-28 02:25 am (UTC)(link)
I had a friend named Kevin who had an inflatable sheep named "Lambie-Pie". He used to dress her up in a neglige and earrings and take her to SCA events with him. She was kept in his tent most of the time (except when she got stolen that once and left on the King's throne...), and nobody EVER asked what Kevin did with her in the tent. Or not that I ever heard. He had a Greek persona, you see. **nods thoughtfully** Some things it's just best not to really question, you know?

[identity profile] tively-split.livejournal.com 2007-03-29 04:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Indeed. One of my friends has talked, now and then, about one of his other friends who they got an inflatable sheep for, for his b-day. Apparently it went "beeeeh" whenever it's rear got touched, and they heard the odd "beeeeh" that evening, but: don't ask, don't tell... No speculatin' either!

One of the funny things about getting it, I'm told, was that in the sexshop in Apeldoorn the people behind the counter got all wide-eyed and "Sorry, we don't have that" while in more populated places like Utrecht they didn't bat an eye... Guess it helps to have a high enough student population...

[identity profile] wmchichiri.livejournal.com 2007-03-27 06:10 pm (UTC)(link)
*ROFLMAO*

[identity profile] edwired.livejournal.com 2007-03-28 12:16 am (UTC)(link)
wasn't that 'Dogimatix for Dummies'??

[identity profile] dogmatix-san.livejournal.com 2007-03-31 06:54 pm (UTC)(link)
*snicker*

It does exist

[identity profile] hauen.livejournal.com 2007-04-02 04:16 am (UTC)(link)
About a year ago, I was in Borders waiting for everyone else to get done when I noticed a Sign saying there was a sex section. Now considering where I live, I figured...what 4 books tops? Boy was I wrong.

I was standing there reading the spines going ...weird, odd, does that even count as a sex book, holy shit people should not read about that stuff, O_O, and damn who writes books about such things?! When I noticed a book that had me almost on the floor laughing. BDSM for Dummies.

I had to look inside, and yep...there was a section on how to be a proper Dom or Domme. At which point everyone caught up to me and I almost burned down the store blushing. We all found the book to be very funny though.

Want me to order you a copy Icka? Hmmm? ;)