Someone wrote in
ickaimp
2005-01-22 02:35 pm (UTC)
no subject
A wonderful story! Can't wait to see what happens next!
Just a few things I wanted to point out:
If Yuugi's "other self had passed on to the other world", then there's no need for Jonouchi to "assure both of the smaller boy's sides."
"He wouldn't be the slightest bit amazed if Mokuba ended up taller than he brother in a few years." Shouldn't it be "his brother"?
Diana
(
13 comments
)
Post a comment in response:
From:
Anonymous
This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID
Identity URL:
Log in?
Dreamwidth account
Account name
Password
Log in?
If you don't have an account you can
create one now
.
Subject
HTML doesn't work in the subject.
Formatting type
Casual HTML
Markdown
Raw HTML
Rich Text Editor
Message
[
Home
|
Post Entry
|
Log in
|
Search
|
Browse Options
|
Site Map
]
no subject
Just a few things I wanted to point out:
If Yuugi's "other self had passed on to the other world", then there's no need for Jonouchi to "assure both of the smaller boy's sides."
"He wouldn't be the slightest bit amazed if Mokuba ended up taller than he brother in a few years." Shouldn't it be "his brother"?
Diana